thanksgiving survivors unite

Ok so if you live stateside and you’re reading this, you survived Thanksgiving.

I sincerely hope it was a peace-filled and joyous time of celebration for you and your family. I really do. Yet I would be remiss if I failed to mention the honest to God reality that many of us are living with fractured familial situations, gut-wrenching grief, and broken relationships that leave our hearts feeling tender most days and exceptionally fragile during the holiday season.

And I don’t know what it is about Thanksgiving, but it really could be called the national day of crazy making for all the fools in families.

Because truly—nothing reveals unresolved wounds like gathering with the very people who helped create them.

Think about it: On a day when we are supposed to be counting our blessings and showering each other with love and affections, we are known to be fighting, arguing, and behaving like stone fools. Will we ever evolve beyond this?

I sure hope so.

Personally, I have completely unsubscribed from all the committed and chronic crazy makers who used to have direct access to my life. God love ‘em and so do I— from a distance. Everything is forgiven because I have given up the hope that it could have been any different, my heart and mind are clear, and I genuinely wish them well. They just no longer have license to wreak havoc against me and mine. That weapon may have formed, but I’ll be dang if it’s gone prosper.

This year, I noticed that family estrangement was trending online, and the stories ran the gamut from truly toxic, diabolical, and abusive situations to families who simply failed to learn basic empathy, communication skills, self-regulation, emotional maturity, or conflict resolution.

If you happen to fall somewhere on that spectrum, whether the distance was a necessary boundary or a very painful but overdue decision (as was such in my case), I want to remind you that you are still loved, valued, and valuable. Someone, somewhere is truly thankful for you.

Do not let difficulties of this moment or season convince you that everything is broken. Don’t allow heaviness to eclipse the truth that there are still blessings both great and small to be counted.

Always.

And if for some reason you are struggling to find a single blessing to count at this time, please run to your closest mirror because the blessing you need to count may very well be you.

Your presence and perseverance, healing journey, growth, and resilience…

All of that — is a blessing.