And he was not an asshole.
In fact, he was quite the opposite.
I had the opportunity to spend a few hours with Eric and Kim, his Chief of Staff. They were both down-to-earth, gracious, and kind.
Someone who I know, trust, and love had already told me what kind of person Eric was and although I found her description difficult to reconcile with what I thought or imagined to be true, I chose to believe her.
Yesterday, my faith in what she said became sight.
We talked about family, business, philanthropy, animals, and the way we treat each other stateside. Just regular, human conversation.
I learned about his connection to St. Jude, an organization that has always been near and dear to my heart. I had no idea he was involved.
He shared stories about growing up on job sites, working alongside immigrants he described as hardworking, talented, and kind.
The man also does his own electrical work and mans a mad chainsaw.
Props. Because those are actual skills.
And here's another thing I learned: He flies commercial.
He had a connecting flight through Atlanta on his way to our location.
ATLANTA.
IYKYK 😂
He doesn’t have to do that.
And please let me tell you something about me.
I do not get starstruck. By anyone. That’s never been my vibe.
Everybody puts their pants on the same way and I can spot crazy from half a mile away.
Yesterday, nothing felt performative.
Kim was just as gracious, attentive, and approachable. I hugged her (within about 75 seconds of meeting her) because she said she loves Dolly. I asked her if she was doing ok with Dolly passing. We both sighed and before I even thought about it, I hugged her. I announced that I was hugging her (AS I WAS HUGGING HER) because I needed a hug at the mention of Dolly and I felt like she did too.
I definitely need to ask her about her perspective on this at some point. 😂
Until then, my takeaway is this:
She let me hug her, she hugged me back, and Secret Service did not molly wop me.
Neither Kim nor Eric seemed to think they were the most important person in the room. And they didn’t need to be.
It was refreshing.
I'm not suggesting that a few hours with someone tells you everything about them. Nor does a pleasant personal encounter erase legitimate questions, concerns, or disagreements.
But firsthand experiences matter, and I'm willing to let mine inform what I think.
I want to share this experience with you because somewhere along the way, we've gotten entirely too comfortable with deciding who people are without ever having had a conversation with them.
We form opinions based on headlines, sound bites, social media, family associations, political affiliations, and whatever else we’ve heard, think or somebody may have told us.
Sometimes those opinions are informed. Sometimes they're justified. Sometimes they're incomplete.
We need to leave room for the possibility that there's more to people than what we think we know.
Because we could all benefit from a little more curiosity and a little less contempt.
So basically it comes down to this: If you're an asshole, stop being one.
Seriously. 😂
And maybe go have a conversation with someone you think you know, but don't really know.
(Especially if you've already decided they’re probably an asshole.)
To be clear, some people really are assholes. And if you've got the receipts, I'm not asking you to ignore them.
I'm asking you to examine your own assumptions, biases, and judgments about people you don't actually know.
Because you might learn something.
You may find that you have more in common than you imagined.
Or you might discover that your assumptions were incomplete.
Treat people as individuals.
Stay curious.
Exercise discernment.
And do not confuse disagreement with permission to dehumanize someone.
Because even if you disagree about everything under the sun, it’s still possible to treat each other with kindness, dignity, love, and respect.
I think we could use a whole lot more of that right about now.
