healing requires honesty

Not the kind that smooths things over.
Not the kind that keeps the peace.

But the kind that tells the truth—even when truth reveals that reconciliation, repair, or renewal together is not possible.

Once upon a time, I entered a conversation with openness and hope believing that honesty could build a bridge. I believed that truth, spoken with care, could lead to understanding—maybe even healing. What I encountered instead was clarity. Not confusion. Not misunderstanding. Clarity.

And while heartbreak followed clarity, something else began that day too.

I came to the conversation willing to mend, listen, and build. But I was met with indifference. Then hostility. And ultimately, a declaration so final that it landed like a closed door: I don’t care. I’m going to do what I want. You’re not going to change me.

I felt like my heart cracked and then shattered in real time. I went to gasp but there was no air.

Instead tears welled. I sat holding them back, trying not to blink. Trying not to let the weight of what I was realizing spill over.

I had never encountered energy so caustic and casually cruel — unmoved by the presence of another human being offering their heart in good faith. And then, as if to underline the truth of the moment, I was mocked for showing emotion.

Laughed at for my tenderness. And that was the moment I understood: there’s no way forward here.
Because honesty had done its job.

We’d all been honest. And unfortunately, our truths did not meet.

Many of us keep returning to conversations hoping this time will be different. We believe that if we explain ourselves more clearly, show up more compassionately, or endure more quietly, something will finally shift. We are taught—explicitly or implicitly—that never-ending perseverance is virtue, only suffering can sanctify, and true love means staying no matter the cost.

But honesty has a way of clarifying what effort cannot.

Sometimes what is revealed is not misunderstanding, but misalignment.
Not pain, but indifference.
Not resistance, but refusal.

Some people confuse cruelty with honesty.
Some believe endurance equals righteousness.
And many of us are taught that boundaries are punishments—rather than what they truly are: acknowledgments of reality.

Truth does not always lead to togetherness—but it does lead to freedom. There are truths that hurt because they end illusions.
And there are endings that heal because they restore self-respect.

Because we finally choose honesty over fantasy. Clarity over endurance.
Integrity over proximity.

Please note that integrity does not reject closeness; it actually protects the kind of connections that allow love, growth, and truth to coexist. Because proximity matters deeply — when it’s safe, mutual, and rooted in care rather than control.

Healing began because I saw clearly — and honored what I saw.

A Blessing for Your Healing Path

May you tell the truth without cruelty and receive truth without harm.
May you recognize when endurance is no longer love, and when release is an act of care.

May you find proximity that is safe, mutual, and life-giving — relationships where honesty is honored, tenderness is protected, and your presence is never minimized or mocked.

And may the clarity you choose today become the peace you walk in tomorrow.