on the four agreements

Today I was reminded of a book I read years ago, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Every time I revisit it—mentally or spiritually—the principles calls me back into alignment.

Although the agreements are simple, they are not easy; however, they are powerful spiritual and personal-growth anchors:

1. Be impeccable with your word.

Speak truth in love. Say what you mean. Refuse to weaponize your words against yourself or others. Words create worlds, and we all end up living inside the ones we speak.

2. Don’t take anything personally.

Whew—this one will save your whole life.
What people choose to do, say, project, or perform is about them, not you. We suffer unnecessarily when we believe someone’s behavior is a personal commentary about us. It’s not. They did what they did because they decided to do it.

3. Don’t make assumptions.

Ask. Clarify. Speak plainly. Refuse the drama that grows in the gaps of unspoken expectations and unasked questions. This agreement alone could change the world if we let it.

4. Always do your best.

Your best will look different from day to day, depending on energy, circumstances, and capacity—and that’s okay. Just bring what you’ve got with honesty and heart. No judgment. No self-condemnation. Inner peace only. Just show up and do your very best and trust God with the rest.

I try to live my life shaped by these four agreements, and while I don’t always nail them, I keep trying.

That’s the real growth process: showing up again, learning again, choosing again.

What I’ve learned, though, is that before I could hold onto these healthier agreements, I had to break a few unhealthy ones first.
And let me tell you—some folks did not appreciate it when I stopped reading from the old script and started filming a whole new movie.

Bless their hearts.

But right around that time, I remembered Agreement #2:
Nothing other people do has anything to do with me.

Instant release.

Instant peace.

Instant freedom.

And that, right there, is the magic of these agreements:

They bring you back home to yourself.