on mean girls (part 1)

PSA: Unfortunately, mean girls don’t magically disappear after high school.

No, they graduate into the workplace, continuing education spaces, motherhood, leadership, friend circles, church groups, and even online spaces. The behavior just evolves.

Gossip shifts from cafeteria tables to cubicles. Exclusion grows into strategic gatekeeping. Performative support turns into suspicious silence when you need backing the most. And sadly… the cliques continue.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about mean girls over the years, it’s this:

They rarely outgrow the behavior.
They get older, they get titles, they get platforms — and somehow their meanness earns a promotion right alongside them.

Because being a “mean girl” isn’t about age.
It’s an energy — misguided, misdirected, and often masked.

And when I say “mean girl,” I’m not talking about someone:

• having a hard day
• navigating stress
• being human and imperfect

I’m talking about people who have chosen meanness as a lifestyle.
People who lead with insecurity, control, exclusion, rudeness, or cruelty — often wearing disguises like faux confidence, spirituality, competence, or niceness.

And unfortunately mean girls can show up anywhere:
schools, offices, friend groups, community circles, and yes… even in church (God help us).

If you’ve encountered this dynamic — or if you realize you’ve participated in it — this series is for you.