Mean girls don’t just disappear after high school — they grow up, and often so does their meanness. Their cruelty is projection of their own insecurities, envy, and unhealed wounds.

From gatekeepers to chronic competitors, their behavior is about what they can’t access within themselves — not about you.

So love yourself enough to let their shadow simply roll right off your light.

Mean girls don’t magically disappear after high school — they grow up, and sometimes so does their cruelty. If you’ve ever felt blindsided, dismissed, or undermined by a woman you admired, liked or trusted, you know the sting is real.

But here’s the truth: even in the midst of that behavior, there are women who lift you, celebrate you, and show up with genuine kindness. You’re not alone. You are seen. And real sisterhood — the kind that heals and holds — is still possible.

Unfortunately, mean girls don’t disappear after high school. They grow up, they gain titles, platforms, and influence — and all too often, their meanness grows alongside them. It’s not about age; it’s an energy, misguided and misdirected, often hidden behind confidence, competence, or even spirituality.

Mean girls can show up in workplaces, friendships, community spaces, families, and yes… even in church. Gossip becomes gatekeeping. Performative support becomes suspicious silence. And the cliques… well, they persist.

There are moments in life when someone mirrors back to you who you used to be — and suddenly, everything inside you wakes up.

I had dinner with a soul sister recently, someone who knew me during a season when my calling was loud and my dreams were bold. As we talked, something sacred stirred in me: a reminder of the purpose I once held so close it felt like breath.

Sitting with my Granny is like sitting with time itself. Her stories carry history, faith, resilience, and a quiet kind of brilliance that only comes from a life fully lived. In her words, I hear the roots of our family tree — steady, unshakeable, and drenched in grace.

This conversation isn’t just an interview.
It’s an inheritance, the kind of love that holds generations together.

Come sit on the porch with us. There’s something here your spirit might need.

Because truly—nothing reveals unresolved wounds like gathering with the very people who helped create them.

Think about it: On a day when we are supposed to be counting our blessings and showering each other with love and affections, we are known to be fighting, arguing, and behaving like stone fools. Will we ever evolve beyond this?

My Grandaddy, my Mom’s Dad, used to always say, "Give people their flowers while they're living."

He was a passionate preacher and hard-working patriarch who did not take no mess. He lived by strong spiritual truths and convictions and he held up the plumb line for others as well.   Before I tell you about the flowers scenario, I want to make sure you know that my Grandaddy was gangster… 

Not every battle deserves your energy. Not every comment deserves your response. Not every storm requires you to step outside.

Staying above the fray is not avoidance — it’s emotional leadership. It’s choosing peace over pettiness, clarity over chaos, and alignment over reactions that drain your spirit.

You were not built for the mud. You were built for the mountaintop.

Learn how to rise above like your peace depends on it.

I try to live my life shaped by these four agreements, and while I don’t always nail them, I keep trying.

That’s the real growth process: showing up again, learning again, choosing again.

What I’ve learned, though, is that before I could hold onto these healthier agreements, I had to break a few unhealthy ones first.

Watch yourself at home.
Not in a judgmental way — just observe.
Are you gentle? Irritable? Restful? Always on?
Are you nourishing your spirit… or continuously draining it?

Because the person you are in your own space, that’s the real one who deserves to lead your life.